I Don't Want to Buy a Friggin' Chocobo!
by Sassy Aloo
Summary: Wanna buy a chocobo? Seriously, it warks! And we can drive Squally-Wally crazy! Silly little gemfic


**Warnings:** Language, crack

**Pairings:** Whatever you want.

**Sassy's Note:** Came to me today while I was pondering over that duck game we all play whenever we have a sub. I thought the idea of these guys playing it was exceedingly amusing. It's not very long, not that great either, but just be back I'm getting back into the swing of writing. Maybe I'll update some of the others soon.

**I Don't Want to Buy a Friggin' Chocobo!**

"Hey, Sora, you wanna buy a chocobo?"

"A what?"

"A chocobo!"

"Does it wark?"

"Of course it warks!"

"What the fuck?" asked Cloud, sitting upright on his heels. He looked down to the path below, Sora and Yuffie were there, giggling madly. Leon grunted, glaring at the blond for daring to get distracted while they were working.

"Hey, Kairi!" Sora called from down below. The girl, relaxing with a book on a bench not too far from Cloud and Leon, looked up.

"What?" she yelled back.

"You wanna buy a chocobo?"

The redhead giggled. "A what?"

"A what?"

"A chocobo!" said Yuffie.

"A chocobo!" Sora confirmed up to Kairi.

"Does it wark?" the girl asked.

"Does it wark?"

"Of course it warks!"

"Of course it warks!"

Cloud was staring at Kairi like she'd just sprouted tentacles from every orifice possible. Leon growled.

"Strife!" he barked, and Cloud snapped back into reality. He turned back to their task of fixing the cobblestone path.

"Hey, Riku," Kairi said. The silvered teen was lounging lazily on a low stone wall. He looked over at Kairi, muttering a soft "hmm?" in question.

"Do you want to buy a chocobo?"

Cloud glanced up at the teen from the corner of his eye, careful so Leonhart wouldn't bite his head off. Riku was chuckling.

"A what?" he asked.

"A what?" Kairi called to Sora.

"A what?" Sora asked Yuffie.

"A chocobo!"

"A chocobo!"

"A chocobo," the redheaded girl said.

"Does it wark?"

"Hey, Sora, does it wark?"

"I dunno. Does it wark, Yuffie?"

"Of course it warks!"

Riku smirked in Leon's direction, for said brunet was growing increasingly impatient with the childish antics. Cloud wasn't sure if it was safe to be amused, so he kept his head down and his face neutral.

"Cid, you want to buy a chocobo?" Riku asked the middle-aged blond as he hammered on part of the railing not far from Cloud and Leon.

"A what?" the man asked, gnawing on his toothpick, and the whole thing started over.

"A what?"

"A what?"

"A what?"

"A chocobo!"

"A chocobo!"

"Oh, a chocobo."

"A chocobo."

"Does the feller wark?"

"Does it wark?"

"Does it wark?"

"Does it wark?"

"Yeah, it warks!"

"Not interested," Cid said with a shrug. "Never could stand the noisy things."

Riku chuckled; Kairi grinned; Yuffie let out an indignant huff.

"You're no fun! Riku! Ask someone else!"

Cloud knew it was coming by the evil cackle the teen tried to suppress.

"Cloud? You wanna buy a chocobo?"

Leon tensed up and growled as if daring the blond to reply. He looked up at Riku, who was smirking. The silver-haired teen mouthed "a what" then gestured at Leon.

Throwing caution to the wind, Cloud grinned and asked, "A what?" Leon seized up so fast Cloud could have sworn he'd just been spontaneously mummified.

"A what?"

"A what?"

"A what?"

"A chocobo!"

"Duh, a chocobo."

"A chocobo."

"A chocobo," Riku said, eyeing Leon. Waves of frustration were rolling off the man, so intense Cloud could feel it. Despite the ass-kicking they all knew they'd get, Cloud kept it going.

"Does it wark?"

"Does it wark, Kai?"

"Does it wark?"

"Does it wark?"

"Of _course_ it warks!"

"Of course it warks!"

"Of course it wa-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Leon finally exploded, getting to his feet and glaring at them all. "Nobody here wants to buy a fucking chocobo and we don't care if it warks!" He seethed silently for a few moments, directing his fury at them each in turn. "Now if you're not going to work then _get out of here_!"

Cloud immediately abandoned his tools and ran off down the stairs toward Yuffie and Sora. Kairi and Riku were right behind him. Cloud managed to suppress his smile as they listened to Cid roar with laughter and Leon growled at the older man.

"Plan to get Cloud a day off, success!" Sora said, folding his arms behind his head. "Sooo, now what?"

"We should totally head to the chocobo farm," said Yuffie, bouncing excitedly. Riku shrugged, and Kairi grinned. "Squee! C'mon, Cloud! Let's get the gummi!"

The blond nodded with a smirk, glancing back up to where Leon was still stubbornly working. As the others headed off excitedly to the garage, Cloud called up to him, "Hey, Squall, wanna buy a chocobo?"

"_I hate you, Strife_!"

-_end_-

**Sassy:** So who's played/heard of/seen that game before? I swear it's fun. A good way to drive teachers/parents/ co-workers insane, too.


End file.
